Following Saturday’s victory over in-state rival Drake, the UNI Panther’s men’s basketball team can officially crown themselves champions of the corn-filled state that we call Iowa. It is clearly evident that our Panthers are eating more corn than their in-state opponents.
“I usually eat a can of corn for breakfast every morning,” claimed UNI guard Marc Sonnen. “I believe that corn makes me quicker off the dribble and also increases my ball handling abilities. Before I came to Cedar Falls for college I had no idea how much corn could help develop my game, but it’s pretty obvious that if you wanna ball for the Panthers you better get your daily corn.”
Not only are these “ballers” eating more corn, they are also bathing in it. “Most athletes believe it’s to their advantage to take ice baths after a hard workout to help your muscles recover. We Panthers got ourselves a little secret- corn baths. Following a tough practice or game we’ll all get together as a team and sit in a tub filled with corn,” explained Anthony James. “I find it really soothing. The only bad thing is sometimes kernels will get in places that their not supposed to go.” Whoa, whoa, whoa, too much information King James…
Nevertheless, these corn loving Panthers are the state champions of Iowa. After starting out with a hard-fought victory against the Cyclones in Ames, the Panthers came back to the McLeod and put a whooping on the Hawkeyes. UNI defeated the Hawks by 20 points, their largest victory over the black and gold in a long period of time. It’s quite obvious that those Hawkeyes aren’t eating enough corn in Iowa City. Following their win over Drake on Saturday in Des Moines, our Panthers can let the smack talk begin.
“I think it’s great that we were able to get the sweep against our in-state opponents this season, especially since it’s my senior year,” stated Johnny Moran. “But you know what isn’t great- when the Rialto doesn’t serve any corn for lunch. That really grinds my gears. I walked in there on Tuesday for lunch and couldn’t find one bowl of corn in that whole damn place! How am I supposed to go shoot lights-out at Creighton if I don’t get my daily corn?!? SMH.”
Be sure to come support your Panthers at all their remaining home games as they get into the thick of their schedule. They need your help to come out and pack the McLeod as they make another push towards a Missouri Valley Conference championship and a hopeful birth in the NCAA Tournament. We still have plenty of #PANTHERSWAG shirts in stock to help with your game day apparel! Be sure to visit our online store by following http://www.oskybrand.com/ Good luck to the Panthers the rest of the season! Eat that corn! Hail Our Corn-Loving Panthers!